


i love u, that's the problem

by strawbbun



Series: ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ateez ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ [3]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Boys Kissing, Dialogue Heavy, Flashbacks, Fluff, M/M, Midnight calls, Pining, Seonghwa has a crush on Hongjoong okay, Unrequited Love, hongjoong is a sadist, idiot in love, seonghwa is cute, this is soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-12-07 16:24:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18237350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawbbun/pseuds/strawbbun
Summary: "i don't sleep cause when i do,all i dream are dreams of you,"





	1. i love you more

**Author's Note:**

> hello loves! so basically,, i wanted this to be a chapter fic,, but i kinda liked it like this. anyways, i don't know if this is angsty?? it's mostly soft so i'll skip on the angst tag. i hope you enjoy and let me know if i should continue this ily guys :( ♡
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>   
> [playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZMm2IRNE35oAMtTweO_lbYaxWU8OBF9L)  
> 

Seonghwa rolled over in his bed, eyes blinking open to stare at the digital clock on his dresser, the bright red numbers glaring back at him. He'd been trying to sleep for the past 3 hours, seeing as he had an important exam tomorrow and he kind of didn't want to fail. Despite his desperate need for sleep, his body has not been agreeing with him lately. Every time his eyelids would shut, another pair of cat-like eyes would stare right back at him, long lashes tickling the faces' cheekbones. Seonghwa just couldn't get him out of his head. 

It was weird. Hongjoong was his life long best friend, welcoming him into the city life when Seonghwa had moved from Jinju when he was only nine years old. They had been inseparable; sleepovers every weekend, sneaking out in high school to hang out, wing mans for each other. Seonghwa was the first person Hongjoong came out to. Hongjoong was the one who pushed Seonghwa to pursue his passion in literature. Seonghwa was the one to drag Hongjoong to bed when he'd stay up late working on music for his producing class. Hongjoong was the one that Seonghwa would cling to at parties when his social anxiety would get the best of him. They were just _there for each other_. 

And Hongjoong had been Seonghwa's first kiss.

It was a stupid, reckless kiss. They had both been drunk on the night of Hongjoong's 17th birthday. Hongjoong thought it would be a _great_ idea to steal some of his parents alcohol once they went to bed. Hongjoong had always been the _wild_ one of the two. Seonghwa was nervous at first. What if they get caught? Would they have to stop being friends? Hongjoong had rolled his eyes, tugging Seonghwa out to the back patio, bottle of liquor in his hands.

"Stop overthinking, Hwa. It's just one time," Hongjoong shrugged, pouring some into two paper cups, sitting crisscross in the grass. Seonghwa bit his lip nervously.

"I've never done this before," Hongjoong had looked up at Seonghwa with a raised brow.

"Yeah, I know. This'll be your first time. Come on. Just try it," Hongjoong shoved the cup in Seonghwa's hand before chugging his own. Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong in admiration. He was so cool. Hongjoong must've realized that Seonghwa was hesitating, soon turning to face Seonghwa. "You don't have to do it if you really don't want to,"

Seonghwa's eyes widened, quickly shaking his head. "No, no. It's okay, I'll do it." Sometimes Seonghwa wondered how they ended up being best friends. They were complete opposites. The only thing they had in common were each other.

It didn't take long for Seonghwa to loosen up. It hadn't been as bad as he thought and before he knew it, they were on their fifth cup. Seonghwa was such a lightweight, already giggling at everything and slurring his words.

"Joong, have I ever told you that I love you?" Seonghwa hiccuped, leaning his head on Hongjoong's shoulder and closing his eyes. Hongjoong chuckled, resting his head on top of Seonghwa's

"No, you haven't. Do you love me?" Seonghwa lifted his head to stare at Hongjoong and Seonghwa thought Hongjoong had looked so beautiful, even with the braces and acne.

"Yeah. Yeah, I love you a lot," Seonghwa slurred, grabbing Hongjoong's hand. Hongjoong looked back at Seonghwa, equally drunk as a small smile made its way onto his face.

"How much do you love me?" 

Seonghwa felt his heart begin to race, clutching Hongjoong's hand tighter in his own. This was so stupid. He shouldn't do it.

But he was young and dumb and soon enough, his lips were on Hongjoong's. The kiss wasn't good in any way. There was too much tongue and teeth and neither of them knew what they were doing and Seonghwa eventually came to his sense, pulling away from Hongjoong.

The kiss must've sobered him up at bit as his eyes widened. He scrambled to his feet and ran in the house, cup falling out of his hand.

"Where are you going?" Hongjoong asked, following Seonghwa into the house. Seonghwa shook his head, slipping on his jacket and opening the door. 

"I'll see you tomorrow," Seonghwa mumbled before he disappeared down the street, leaving Hongjoong lost and confused.

That was almost three years ago and they haven't talked about it since. Hongjoong seemed to have forgotten it, moving on to other relationships and one night stand while Seonghwa thought of it everyday. It haunted him. He couldn't stop thinking about how much he wanted to do it _again_. Hongjoong was his best friend. It was wrong to want to hold his hand and cuddle him and share milkshakes. 

But here Seonghwa was, staring at the ceiling, the time reading 2:00 a.m, mind racing over a kiss that happened three years ago. It was pathetic. Hongjoong definitely didn't feel that way about Seonghwa. He'd probably let Seonghwa down as nicely as possible and leave Seonghwa to pretend everything is okay. 

Everything is not okay.

Seonghwa rolled over onto his side, glancing at his phone on his dresser. Should he? Hongjoong would probably be up at this time. Seonghwa swears he never seen Hongjoong sleep through an entire night. Seonghwa sighed, grabbing his phone and clicking on Hongjoong's contact. He was so weak.

Five rings passed. Of course Hongjoong wouldn't pick up. This was a stupid idea. He should just hang u-

"Hello?" Seonghwa felt his heart stop at the sound. Hongjoong's voice was just so... beautiful. Seonghwa loved everything about it. It was soft and comforting and Seonghwa couldn't get enough of it.

"Seonghwa? You there?"

Seonghwa cleared his throat in surprise, unsure of how long he didn't repsond. "Oh, uh, yeah. Hi, Joong,"

"Why are you calling so late? Don't you have an exam tomorrow?" Hongjoong asked, voice cutting out a bit. Seonghwa rolled to his other side, pressing his phone against his ear.

"Yeah, I do. Just couldn't sleep. I miss you," Seonghwa admitted. Hongjoong let out a breathy laugh.

"You just saw me earlier,"

"I know, but I still miss you,"

"Well, I miss you too," Seonghwa felt a small smile grow on his face, burying it in his pillow. "You should really go to sleep. I don't want to hear your complaining tomorrow," Hongjoong light-heartedly spoke.

"Whatever. You're lame,"

"But you love me,"

Seonghwa smiled a bit to himself. "Yeah, I do."

"Can we facetime? I wanna see you," Hongjoong requested, shuffling noises entering the speaker. 

"I look like a mess," 

"Park Seonghwa. You know for a _fact_ that you never look like a mess," Hongjoong scolded, earning a little laugh from Seonghwa. 

"Fine. Answer the call," Seonghwa rolled over onto his stomach, propping his phone up against his pillow. He rested his chin in his hands, a light blush covering his cheeks as Hongjoong appeared on the screen.

It baffled Seonghwa how absolutely _beautiful_ Hongjoong was. He sat in his desk chair, clad in a black Odd Future hoodie and sweats. His hair was a bit messy, sticking up in random places, some laying flat in attempt to tame it. He had his non-prescription glasses perched on the bridge of his angled nose, big eyes shining behind the lenses, a smile restung on his face. He was just so effortlessly perfect.

"Hey loser," Hongjoong smiled, butterflies filling Seonghwa's stomach.

"Hey. You were the one telling me to sleep. Shouldn't you be in bed?" Seonghwa questioned, tilting his head a bit. Hongjoong's entire expression dropped as he leaned his elbows on his desk, dropping his head in his hands, groaning.

"I have to finish this project for my music production class this week and I have no inspiration. It's probably gonna turn out to be shit," Hongjoong sighed, popping his head back up, hair bouncing a bit. 

"Don't stress yourself out, Joong. It'll be amazing, I promise. Maybe we can go inspiration hunting tomorrow?" Hongjoong furrowed his brows.

"Inspiration hunting?"

"Yeah. We can like, I don't know, go to a beach or something. Y'know, like they do in movies. I don't know if it'll help, but you need a break," Seonghwa offered, nibbling on his bottom lip in anticipation. Was this an indirect way of asking Hongjoong out? Probably.

Seonghwa swears he felt the whole world stop when a big smile crossed Hongjoong's face. The younger ran his fingers through his hair, leaning back in his chair. "I'd like that. Thank you, Hwa. What would I do without you?"

Seonghwa felt his own smile cross his face. "Don't thank me, Hongjoong. You deserve the world." Seonghwa's eyes flickered over to the time, 2:15 a.m staring back at him. "Go to sleep, Joong. And _actually_ go to sleep. You can't only run on Americanos,"

"Only because you asked _so nicely_ ," Hongjoong sarcastically replied, Seonghwa sticking his tongue out at him. "Love you, Seonghwa. Goodnight,"

Seonghwa could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he felt his entire face heat up at the simple words. "I love you more, Hongjoong. Sleep well,"

Hongjoong gave one final wave before hanging up the call. Seonghwa let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, flopping forward to suffocate himself in his mattress and _oh no_. He felt like a teenager all over again.


	2. i love you most

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay here's part two! thank you for the love i've received so far :((( i know this update took forever, sowwwy :( ♡ 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> hope this is good enough! enjoy 

"See, I told you you'll be complaining. You owe me 10,000 won," Hongjoong smiled as Seonghwa's head rested on the cafe table, looking up at Hongjoong with his eyes squinted. He felt like absolute shit. The exam was _so long_ and he literally couldn't sleep after calling Hongjoong last night, unable to get him out of his mind.

"For one, we never made a bet and for two, I'm tired and I have the right to complain," Seonghwa pouted, nearly bursting into tears of joy when their coffee arrived at their table. Seonghwa grabbed his caramel frappe with a quick thank you to the waiter before chugging it down, Hongjoong laughing at the sight.

"You should've just went to sleep," Hongjoong shrugged, showing no sympathy for Seonghwa. Seonghwa glared at Hongjoong, but his expression soon softened because, _how could he possibly be mad at Hongjoong?_.

"You're the worst," Seonghwa weakly insulted, Hongjoong giggling at Seonghwa's stubbornness.

"And once again, that's a lie because you love me," Hongjoong sipped his coffee coolly, Seonghwa wanting to die on the spot. "Anyways, didn't you promise me a beach date?"

Seonghwa nearly choked on his drink, covering it up by coughing. "I-It's not a date. It's _inspiration hunting_."

Hongjoong rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yes! Shut up!" Seonghwa's face was bright red. Hongjoong seemed to be enjoying torturing Seonghwa like this. Fucking sadist.

"Whatever you say, babe," Seonghwa felt his eyes nearly pop out of their sockets at the pet name, face flushing red. Seonghwa buried his face in his hands, groaning. "Wow, I never knew _the_ Park Seonghwa could get so flustered. You're the cutest, hyung,"

"Okay, that's it. I'm leaving," Seonghwa stood up, grabbing his coffee and bag, leaving the cafe. Hongjoong sighed, smile never leaving his lips as he ran after Seonghwa wo had already made it to the car.

"I was only kidding, Hwa," Hongjoong laughed quietly at the pout on Seonghwa's lips. His arms were crossed and he made sure to pretend Hongjoong wasn't there. _He's literally an overgrown child._ "Seonghwa," Hongjoong poked Seonghwa who only huffed, looking out the window. " _Seonghwa~_ ,"

Seonghwa tried his best to ignore Hongjoong, but when the younger booped his nose, his facade broke. "Okay! Just... buckle up so I can take you to this dumb beach," Seonghwa mumbled, but the blush on his face gave it all away.

**. . .**

"Any inspiration yet?" 

"Nope."

"...How about now?"

"None."

"Look at that seagull. There's inspiration right there,"

"You want me to write a song about a fucking seagull?"

"I mean... points for creativity?" 

Hongjoong let out a deep sigh, leaning back on the heels of his palms. Seonghwa could see the dark circles under his eyes, the stress lines on his face, and the frown that Seonghwa hated. He just wanted Hongjoong to be happy. Seonghwa too sighed, leaning his head on Hongjoong's shoulder.

"Okay, this song writing thing is harder than I thought," 

A small rumble of laughter left Hongjoong's lips and Seonghwa thought that he could get addicted to the sound. "Yeah, it is..." They were both quiet for a moment. "Sometimes I wish I would've just listened to my parents. I could've just became a stupid business man with a future. Maybe music just isn't for me,"

Seonghwa gasped, bringing his head up to look at Hongjoong in disbelief. "Hongjoong, you've wanted to be a musician all your life. If anything, you're going to be one of the greatest musicians to ever exist. You're one of the most dedicated people I've ever met. Don't doubt yourself like that. You deserve the world and more," Seonghwa found himself repeating the same line from last night, Hongjoong turning to look at him.

The wind had messed up his hair a bit, but the sun reflected off his skin beautifully and - fuck - maybe Seonghwa was in love. "Seonghwa," Hongjoong spoke, voice quiet and barely there. Seonghwa's heart stopped in his chest at the way Hongjoong was gazing at him. Seonghwa wanted nothing more than to kiss him. "How much do you love me?"

Seonghwa's eyes widened at the words. His palms were sweaty and all of a sudden, there wasn't enough air. Hongjoong watched him patiently and that's when Seonghwa decided that, _yep, he was definitely in love._

It happened before he could blink, but Seonghwa soon found his lips against Hongjoong's. It didn't feel like fireworks, but it felt so _warm_ and familiar. Like he was completed. Hongjoong's lips were a bit chapped but still managed to be soft. Surprisingly, Hongjoong kissed quite roughly, catching Seonghwa by surprise when he nibbled on his lip. Seonghwa let out an involuntary gasp, Hongjoong smiling into the kiss.

The younger's hands found their way to Seonghwa's waist as he slowly lied him down in the sand. Seonghwa whined, breaking the kiss. "My _hair_ ,"

Hongjoong rolled his eyes. "Do you really think I care about your hair right now?" Seonghwa's cheeks heated up once again, Hongjoong cooing. "The cutest hyung,"

"Just shut up and kiss me," Hongjoong did just that, connecting their lips again. This time it was much slower, both wanting savour this moment. Hongjoong's tongue prodded at Seonghwa's lips, the older giving him access. Seonghwa was like clay in Hongjoong's arms, the younger knowing exactly what buttons to push. The kiss was perfect and he never wanted this moment to end. 

Seonghwa didn't keep track of how long they kissed, but all he knew was that when they broke apart, Hongjoong looked so pretty. His lips were slightly swollen and his face was flushed. They both took a moment to catch their breaths, eye contact never breaking.

"You're officially my second kiss ever," Seonghwa found himself blurting out. Hongjoong laughed lightly, rolling off to the side of Seonghwa, quickly pulling the older into his arms. 

"And I hope to be your last. As in I want to be the only one to kiss you forever," Hongjoong spoke, clearly not thinking about what he was saying.

"You're so lame," Seonghwa chuckled, burying himself further into Hongjoong's warmth.

"But you love me," 

Seonghwa sighed, mumbling into Hongjoong's shirt. "Yeah, I do."

And maybe Hongjoong just found his inspiration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *not edited* 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> it's finally finished yayayay,, i swear this was the first time i wrote fluff without any angst so this is a big accomplishment uwu 
> 
>  
> 
> let me know what you think! ty for reading 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry the ending was trash lol. this was just a lil' drabble i came up with?? was it good?? i dunno :( but anywho - people who comment on my posts actually own my entire heart so tell me what you think! tyyyyy for reading (•‿•)♡


End file.
